Is There No Respite?!

I hate Halloween. About once every five years or so, I have a good Halloween costume (Drexel, Frank-n-furter) but that's really about all I can munster (harhar.) I know what you're thinking: who is this crazy witch who dislikes a day when people all across the country fling open their doors with generosity and hand out FREE CANDY?! A witch who was always the fat girl with the ill-fitting and hastily prepared Halloween costumes, that's who...As a grown-up and now a teacher, Halloween is a nightmare (mwah-ah-ah.) Not only do you have to suffer the injury of all that extra candy around the house---most of which invariably gets left to be eaten in the middle of the night by the one who bought it in the first place---but also your favourite TV shows keep getting interrupted by all that door-bell ringing. And how many times have you had to go out and buy MORE Halloween candy because you've eaten the first batch long before the first trick-or-treater has even darkened your doorstep? And trying to accomplish any actual teaching and (God Forbid) LEARNING on Halloween is positively goulish! Kids are high on sugar, too fervently planning their trick-or-treat route and too distracted by their make-up and/or costume to even THINK about anything else at all. And forget about assigning homework or tests...The day AFTER Halloween is even worse. Kids' hollowed-out little eyes all black with lack of sleep and seriously JONESIN' for more sugar... Now of course, that's what being a kid is all about, so I've learned to suck it up and deal with it as part of an occupational hazard. When I first started teaching, I used to show Halloween Simpsons episodes as a reward and a well-deserved break to my students. I also used to hand out Halloween candy. That was before my raisin-like heart shriveled up and died, though. All the same, I do my best to suffer through my agonizingly long day, only to go to the gym and discover that it is Halloween in my weight class too! My instrucor is dressed like and imbecile and half the class is lifting 50 lb barbells in ridiculous outfits with melting, sweaty make-up! Are we really that REPRESSED in our daily lives that we need to embrace the one day a year that we are allowed to act like children? Maybe some people need to play out some sort of fantasy in which they wear an adult diaper and get fed and burped by some sort of paid escort. I don't know, do whatever you need to do to satisfy your unrequited Freudian issues, but KEEP IT OUT OF MY GYM! We worked out to the Monster Mash, for crying out loud! I was agape with disgust and disbelief! What if I was a Jehovah's Witness or something?! Gah! I'm just saying, thre are some places where you just HAVE to celebrate Halloween and in which you would expect to see people embracing the spirit of the day. School is one of those places; the gym is most definitely NOT. All I'm saying is that I would like to have at least one place where I am allowed to be an adult and can expect all those around me to act the same. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some more candy to eat, er...I mean hand out.