All’s Well that Ends Well

Beautiful. That was New York, in a word. I didn’t expect that to be the word I would use to describe New York. I thought it would be ‘throbbing’ or ‘face-paced’ or ‘turgid’ and it was all of those things, which is what made it so beautiful. I spent 4 days in awe of all the beauty. Beautiful clothes, beautiful people, beautiful sights, beautiful scenery. 4 days in awe, 4 days being present, 4 days in gratitude, feeling loved and supported and lucky.

4 days of beauty.

The trip wasn’t what I thought it was going to be. I thought it was going to be about my weight and my body issues. It wasn’t at all. It was about love. Giving myself permission to love myself and finally see my money for what it really is: a nurturing supportive and loving conduit to help me reach my goals and desires. It wasn’t about the shopping. It was about claiming my place in this world, about not postponing my life until I have more money or lose more weight; it’s about throwing my hat in the ring, about earning the satisfaction of knowing that I jumped into the game.

Life is not meant to be lived on the sidelines.

I am ready to make peace with my money. I am ready to stop punishing myself. I am ready to stop denying myself love. I am ready to treat it well, to nurture and love it, and ask that it do the same with me.

So many years I have spent hatinghatinghating and using money to punish and deprive myself, giving it so much power. I am ready to disarm and disable its power. I am ready to frame my choices in a positive way and continue to be present and grateful in all areas of my life (and least endeavour to.) And most importantly, I am ready to take the action steps needs to make sure that happens!

I am ready to live my life.

Have I said all of this before? Yes. Will I say it again? Maybe, but the trip was a great reminder of my place in the world. Today I feel centred, grounded and focused, more than I have in a really long time. I let money have this power over me; I let my identity be defined by it. Money keeps me off-kilter. If I have it, it feels wrong; if I don’t, I feel entitled. It’s fucked-up shit.

Here’s what I feel today, after 4 glorious days in New York – an overwhelming sense of relief, and the reminder that I am a fucking colossus.

Everything you’ve ever heard about New York is true. It is a state of mind, a feeling. For me, it was about enjoying where I was at when I was at it. Doing all the stuff I love; it was about balance and appreciation and gob-smacking adulation.

Really, New York. Thank you.

My Life is a Grenade

I am leaving for New York City in 2 days. Less than 48 hours and I'll be on a plane with 7 other women to go on a shopping trip.

How do I feel?

Like a bloody, selfish fool.

My whole life is upside-down. I'm robbing Peter to pay Paul, I'm back where I started, I'm in no-man's land, I'm someplace new, I'm where I've always been.

I am frustrated, I am angry, I am raging.

My life makes me uncomfortable.

Is that a good thing? I don't know any more. I believe that in order to change results and create something new in life, you gotta live outside your comfort zone a little. I don't want to activate what I already know because that will get me what I already have. I don't want what I already have, do you?

But at what point does that tolerance for risk reach its breaking point? When is enough enough?

I have never felt lonelier in my life. I feel like my old friends don't get my new life and I feel like my new friends don't get my old life. I don't feel like I can trust anyone, and those that I can trust, I am afraid of their judgement.

So where am I? Nowhere.

So I talk to no one and I sit and stew and things get worse.

My life is a grenade.

I am 2 days from a trip to NYC and instead of feeling pride, joy, elation and worth, I feel selfish, scared, audacious, and mad as hell. I am frustrated and furious. And I need to be honest about it. Everyone is walking around asking, 'Are you so excited?' and the truth is, I'm not. And that makes me sad. Oh woe is me. How dare I make this into something other than what it is. Why can't I enjoy it? Why do I feel like I don't deserve it? I thought it was about the weight. It's not. It's about the money. Which is the same difference. It all boils down to love. And this being just another way for me to be hard on myself, beat myself up, get a hate on...and then feel guilty for not feeling grateful. And then I feel spoiled that this is my problem in life. And there are starving children in Africa...and in Canada who WISH that there biggest problem was coming to terms with a trip to New York. And then I feel like I 'should' be feeling a certain way and I stuff the feelings down even more and bend and twist and contort all of my feelings. Try to mold them into something they're not. Mad at everyone else for not understanding; mad at myself for not being honest. Mad at myself for not being able to enjoy.

I am leaving for New York City in 2 days and I am miserable.

You're Not Still Looking Here for Updates, Are You?

Winging It

So, I am off (soon.)

There is something to be said for working right up until the day before one leaves for a Holiday. As a teacher, I often had weeks to get ready. Not used to the pinch in time. So everything will be ready because it has to be, and the older I get, the more I travel, the better I am at leaving even though everything isn't perfect. So maybe the bathroom doesn't get cleaned before I leave; maybe I don't get every last thing done; s'awright. The world will still spin on its axis and folk will carry on as usual without too much concern about the state of my full or empty dishwasher.

Man, I love traveling. Nothing makes me appreciate my life more. It reminds me that I live in the greatest country in the World. It's not often I come back from my travels and wish I was somewhere else. (Except Vegas, but that was different.)

And we are mercifully spared the hurricanes and the floods and sure there's some cold weather and some hail storms in July, but meh. We're rich and we're fat and our standard of poor would make some in other countries balk. And I am as guilty as the next guy for forgetting that sometime. I get too wrapped up in the small stuff. So travelling is my reminder, my beacon, of what's truly important in life and how bloody lucky I am.

I have no idea what I am going to be teaching on Monday, but I have some chart paper, some markers and a schwack of resource books. I am going to show up, sing some songs, make some jokes, clap my hands and do what I do best: Fly By the Seat of my Pants.

Dreaming & Scheming

Oh, it must almost be March because I am getting The Fever. The Spring Fever, that is. Right around this same time very year, I am bombarded by the overwhelming desire to fuck off to another world. Yes, I want to go traveling, but it’s more than that. I don’t just want to hop on a plane; I want to MOVE SOMEWHERE far, far away. I mean, my head starts filling up with all sorts of grandiose and—honestly—crazy ideas. I want to go to Brazil, Argentina, South Africa, Marrakesh, Ibiza, South East Asia, Prague, Krakow, Bora Bora, Majorca, Crete and South East Asia. And I want to spend extended periods of time in all of these places becoming a local, soaking up the culture and the language and whittling away my existence in some vague way making a difference.

But I want to keep my condo here and never run out of money. And if I could find a life partner while I’m at it, that would also be great. I pour over maps of the World and nearly eat myself up with desire and lust for all these wonderful far-off places. Sometimes I even go so far as to get onto a website to check out airfares. Then I see that it would cost me $4200 to fly to Johannesburg, I sigh, come back to reality and get on with the rest of my day.

I have seriously got to get a job at Air Canada or something.

Bonhomme Sighting: Bigger than Loch Ness

Oh yes, folks. It is the long-awaited sighting. You may never watch a video more hysterical than this one. I have never been more earnest or excited about anything in my entire life. Watch my eyes. Laurel says I have "Christmas morning eyes." We have watched this video AT LEAST fifteen times already and can't stop laughing. You would think I was meeting a Presidential Candidate or Nelson Mandela or something. Nope. Bonhomme.

I mean, talk about unbridled enthusiasm.

Also, I may be mildly intoxicated.

Back Home

Safe and Sound. And out just in the nick of time. Hurricane Dean was fast on our heels. More posts in the days to follow...

Head Over Heels

As usual, this poor blog is getting severely neglected as my vacation wears on and my time becomes more precious. So much going on, so little time! It is flying, and I am already upset at the mere THOUGHT of coming back home on Sunday! And to think, I was contemplating not coming on this trip?!?! CRAZY! Let it be a lesson to me the next time I am thinking of foregoing fabulous opportunities to sit on my couch licking my wounds. Belize has been so good for me and changed me in ways I never would have expected.

First of all, Belize has got to be the world's best-kept secret. (I'm wondering if I say that every time I travel?) Seriously! It may be a bonus that I am here in the Off-Season, because prices are more reasonable and you practically have the place to yourself, but man! This place is Paradise! It really does have it all. I think it's safe to say that I am IN LOVE wi' de country!!! And either it has cooled down, or I have become acclimatized to the heat and humidity. I was wearing some long pants today because it was down to about 25 degrees, and I was feelin' a bit chilly...

Spent the weekend in Placencia, a little gem of a town! Had a riot with my peeps. The sun was hot, the breeze cool, the beer cold and the men attentive. Like I said, paradise. I stayed in the cutest little place, Deb & Dave's Last Resort. And yes, I fully admit that I stayed there because the name tickled me. But man, it was awesome! Couldn't have been happier. And at around $18/night, you really can't beat the price!

The teaching went really really well last week, and if I had more time I would write an entire entry on Dangriga, the Garifuna and the work we are doing here with the Rotary, but that's for another day. This week, things have ground to a halt due to problems gaining access to the Computer Lab. Our number 1 goal here was to expose the teachers to online resources and so all of us had planned to spend more than half of our time in the computer lab. Here we are with only three teaching days left and still farting around trying to get passwords and keys and access. The I.T. guy is on vacation. But that is the Nature of the Beast, I suppose, and apart from feeling like I am not accomplishing the goals that I was sent here to do, I think things are going well for the most part. One good thing it has done for me is made me realize a) that I actually do know what I'm talking about and b) I should be teaching adults. I'm good at it. And there's none of the nonsense you get from teaching disaffected youth...

The rest of my week has already filled up, and there's so much we didn't have time yet to do. Tomorrow , we are going to a soccer game, USA vs. Belize, I think. Wednesday, we are going to a waterfall and the hot sauce factory and Thursday, we have some mucky-mucks coming from the Rotary to see the work we're doing. We also have to give a presentation to the Rotary Club on Thursday night about our work here. The Rotarians are good people, but a little cultish. There's some curious ceremonies and such goin' on at the meetings. Interesting all the same.

We leave Dangriga bright and early on Friday morning for Caye Caulker. Two days snorkeling the Barrier Reef and then we're on the plane on Sunday with big puppy dog eyes and alligator tears. Those meeting me at the airport will be greeted with a nicely tanned, but very unhappy face. Like any great vacation, this beautiful country has left me wanting more!!

Hot Hot Heat

It’s amazing that anything gets done in Tropical destinations or ones where heat dominates the landscape AT ALL. No wonder the State of Affairs are in such a shambles. I am completely useless in the heat. It is so hot and humid here that beating the heat is a full-time job. Out of the shower and a layer of sweat has already formed on your body by the time you have finished drying off. Forget about make-up or cotton shirts that at one point seemed fine. Those cotton blends now feel as if they were made of hot, hot LEATHER. You find yourself wondering, “Would it be appropriate if I spent the day teaching in my bra and panties? I mean, would anyone really even mind?” My classroom has three open doors and 5 fans. Still hot. Sweat on the lip and streaming down the back at all times. Meanwhile, the locals are wandering around in JEANS and socks and SHOES. God, I break out in sweat just looking at them. And then they tell you it’s not so bad right now. And proceed to regale you with stories about how 2 weeks ago it was 104 degrees. A hundred and four!! God, it’s only about 32 degrees here right now, but with the humidity and lack of wind, it feels like about 45.

Ice cubes don’t even turn your water cold because they melt too quickly. And any time I thought I would have after teaching (we finish at three) is spent talking about how hot it is. I know what you’re thinking: Hey, why not take a nice cold shower? Doesn’t that sound refreshing? Yes,yes, it sure does, except that the water tank which provides me the water is up on the roof and taking in the heat of the HOT, HOT sun all day. So the water is warm. WARM!!! You know how disappointing that is?! And how ‘bout a nice refreshing dip in the ocean, you say? Well, yes except that we happen to be in the only place in Belize where the river feeds into the Caribbean Sea and there are alligators there. Also, because of the rain, the water is brown and murky. And salty. I’d rather take a warm shower, thanks.

And the bugs, oh the bugs. Mosquitos and these little annoying sand flies. And if only there was a wind. And forget about trying to make any proper decisions. I keep thinking I can spend some of my evening planning, but the heat prevents me from making any rational decisions. Too hot. Crossing my legs causes them to slide of my sweaty leg. It’s sweaty itchy, hot and humid here. I’d type more, but it may cause me to slip into dehydration.

Still not as hot as Korea, tho'...

First Day of Teaching

murgle.

Actun Tinichil Muknal, Cave of the Stone Sepulchre

Although we are in Belize for a little over two weeks, we are teaching for 8 of those days, which brings our actual tourist time down to only about 8 days. It is obviously going to be very difficult to fit in all of the things we want to do in the short time that we have. Belize is a veritable cornucopia of fascinating and unique adventures. And you could spend two weeks alone visiting the Maya ruins here and still not see it all. So our precious three-day weekends are of the utmost importance.

We chose well on Saturday when we decided to go to Actun Tinichil Muknal, otherwise known as ATM. It was an extraordinary day which ended up eclipsing the Volcano Pacaya/flowing lava experience as the coolest thing I have ever done in my life! Yes folks. I did something COOLER than climb a volcano and see flowing lava. It is not going to sound cooler, but I will do my very best to communicate the sheer awesomeness of the adventure.

Our day started with an early-morning 7 am pickup, which on Belize time, actually means 7:30. We were a little worried because the four of us had already paid the full $300 US to go for the day, and were concerned that our new-found friend Jaime (prounounced ‘hi-me’) was out on the town with our three hundred bucks never to be seen again. But all was well; he showed up and after the usual standing around and organized confusion, a pit-stop to pick up our lunches, socks and Johnny cakes, we finally got on the road sometime after eight for our hour and-a-half drive to the Taipur Mountain Reserve.

In 1989, a Belizean archeologist made a massive and Earth-shaking discovery deep in the jungle when a series of caves was discovered holding hundreds and hundreds of Mayan artifacts which have since been carbon-dated back to approximately 1000 AD. What makes the ATM experience so Earth-shattering and jaw-dropping is that you can get a guide to take you right into the cave to see the artifacts, which include 14 dead bodies, some of them children (the result of Mayan ritual sacrifices) the crowning glory of which is a lady whom the cave is named after. The discovery has brought about many questions since it was believed until this discovery that women never went into the caves.

The Mayan Civilization existed between approx. 1000 BC- 800 AD. As we are learning, they were an extremely fierce and suspicious bunch. They never ever ventured into caves. They believed evil spirits dwelled there. Only the Shamans went into them, and the work they did in there was sacred and therefore secret work. All very shrouded in mystery. It really was all very Indiana Jones. I half expected a large stone booby trap to come chasing us down the cave.

One of the things that made our tour so special and so spectacular was Carlos, our guide, who is likely one of the best, most capable, and most knowledgeable guides I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. (And you know, I have been on a lotta tours!) Barefoot, and armed with his machete and his impressive knowledge of the jungle , he took us the 3 kms to the cave entrance where we left all of our belongings. He had a dry-pack which contained our cameras, candles, glow-sticks, powerful flashlights, a first aid kit, batteries and a panoply of materials necessary for worming around in the dark. The venture into the cave starts with a refreshing, brisk swim in the limestone lagoon. The cave is five kilometers deep.

So we begin our journey of well over a half hour squirming around many sharp & slippery edges, slithering through nooks and crannies and through varying water depths ranging from toes to nipples. We see calcite formations, a few which have undergone minor sculpting, purpose unknown, by the Maya. Stalactites and stalagmites abound and there is so much to see that you don’t even know where to look. The cave walls seem to be covered with diamonds. It stays a balmy 75 degrees in the cave. The water is refreshing. The further from the mouth of the cave you get, the darker it gets, evidently. But you are never scared. There is something so exhilarating and curious and hallowed about this place which just makes you want to press on. You can hear water trickling, voices echoing, profound silence, deep darkness. No night vision in here. You know there is a jackpot at the end of this rainbow.

Finally, you arrive. You ascend 2 or 3 metres to a shelf above the river. From this point forward you walk barefoot. No shoes are allowed; this is hallowed ground. It is pitch black, headlamps have been turned off. It is a silence which fills you with so much peace that you want to stay there forever. Carlos turns on his high-powered flashlight and you realize that you are in a MASSIVE dry chamber. Shivers up and down your spine.

Here Carlos tells us of Maya rituals and ceremonies. As you go forward you encounter increasing amounts of pottery of all sizes, their condition from near intact to completely shattered. Over 1400 artifacts - pottery, tools, and ceremonial items dating from 1 to 1000 AD - including over 200 vessels, have been catalogued within the cave. While over half of all the items appear in plain sight in small pools, they are also tucked away between stalagmites, on small, high shelves or other unusual places. And basically, what is so incredible about it is that you are just WALKING RIGHT BY ALL OF THESE ARTIFCATS! RIGHT THERE!!!!! And Carlos is saying “Watch that artifact by your left foot, please.” And one wrong move and you could destroy a piece of history that is 2,000 years old. Right there!!!! You could just bend over and pick up a pot and carry it around under you arm. It truly is a Living History Museum, remarkable, breath-taking, stunning. Really, there are no words that could possibly do it justice.

At the end of the cave, we have the unfortunate task of climbing a rather large and somewhat precarious ladder. Carlos sits us down and makes us turn out our headlamps. He asks each of us to describe and share our experience with the rest of the group. Then he turns on his high-powered beam to reveal a breathtaking scene: the skeletal remains of our friend, Actun Tinichil Muknal.

The experience has left me feeling eerie, dazed, privileged and awed in the true sense of the word. And incredibly guilty. There is no way in Hell these caves should be open to the public. Groups of tourists traipsing through caves in the dark, some of them of course being inconsiderate, artifacts dating back 1500 years being stepped on my careless tourists completely ignorant and ungrateful about what they are experiencing. It’s a travesty! Just our being there is affecting the historic integrity of the place, and it is practically an outrage that tourist dollars are winning out over historical integrity. And cameras are allowed in there!!! I’m sure that archeologists are rolling around in their graves.

Oh, it’s such a shame, and yet, I got to see it!

Oh, and also, I ate some termites. When in the jungle...

*If you want to learn more about the Maya culture, this month’s National Geographic has an excellent cover story about the Ruins. And watch Apocalypto. Carlos said, apart from being a touch too violent, it is spot on. Mel Gibson has done his homework, apparently.

What would you say? Cooler than lava, verdad?

UnBeleizable!!

"Is this the Express Bus?"

So, our first full day saw us getting up early to pay the three $U.S. dollars it took to take the "express" bus to Belmopan. As it turned out, the driver just told us what we wanted to hear and 'express' in Belize doesn't have the same meaning as in Canada...Anyway, it was an adventure and it definitely was a real slice of culture. Took a second bus into San Ignacio and over lunch decided what to do with the rest of our weekend. Realized that we had enough time to make it to Xunantunich (pronounced Shoe-nan-too-nich,) a Mayan ruin site, which I must say was quite impressive. Xunantunich stands for "Stone Warrior."It is relatively small by Mayan Ruin standards but the Temple was very very impressive, the sun was hot, hot HOT and we got some fabulous shots. It was also practically deserted and afforded us a wicked (and cooler) view from the top!

Schlepped it back to the hotel, an oasis in the unbearable heat and humidity. We have one of those cool cabanas on sticks with the thatched palm frond roofs and an enclosed deck with hammock! ABSOLUTE heaven! And with the only pool in town, great soca and raggae music and a capable bartender, this is the place to be! Walked into town and went into a restaurant that smelled good and had lots of people in it (a sure sign that it's a good place to eat) and had a succulent dinner of organic lamb, rice and veggies! I practically licked the plate clean!

Tomorrow, we are off on an excellent adventure of hiking and swimming and wriggling through caves to make it to some hidden underground Mayan ruins! It's supposedly one of the most spectacular and unique experiences you can have while in Belize, so I am very excited! it is an all-day event taking 10 hours, so I think it is definitely going to make excellent blog fodder for tomorrow!!

Stay tuned!

Trip # 2: BELIZE!

So, here we are in lovely Dangriga by the sea, a sleepy little town of about 10,000. And oh man, it t'aint nothin' like ole' Guatemala. Someone should maybe have mentioned that it was basically a Carribean Island and not a developing country! It is hot and humind. (I can feel the sweat on my upper lip bubbling, and I've only just gotten out of the shower.)

The highlight oif the day was taking a 12-seater plane 15 minutes from Belize City to Dangriga. A veritable puddle jumper!! Sooooo cool! I felt like McGyver. Don't start work until Monday, so the weekend is ours to do with as we please! I am looking into going to the Jaguar Park (the animals, not the cars) and/or going cave rafting and ZIP LINING!!! Yipee!! I have always, always, ALWAYS wanted to go zip lining! I am feeling oh so very Amazing Race right now. One thing is for sure, if you are an adventure seeker, Belize is the place for you!

It looks as if we are going to maybe be making it to some Mayan ruins next weekend, and our last weekend will likely be spent on Caye Caulker soaking up the sun on the beach.

Have been placed with a lovely, warm and kind family in my own room. The other three are in a bed and breakfast down the road. Other than feeling a bit cut-off from them, all is really well. And being on my own without a group in tow in a foreign land is so new that I am having a hard time adjusting to it. SO used to going along with the group and following whatever has already been planned for me, that I've been left feeling a little unprepared for the weekend that lies ahead. But not to worry. After all, I've got my Lonely Planet book and my credit card and I can see the airstrip from my bedroom window, so I'm sure I'll find SOMETHING to do!

The Story of the Finca

So I am feeling like I didn’t convey the truly remarkable story of the people on the Finca. I have been concentrating too much lately on the bugs and the food and the insignificant parts of my trip and losing focus on the BIG PICTURE. One of the great people we met on our travels at the Finca has a blog. A true Frenchie from Montréal. He is still in Guatemala and his blog is much more diligently maintained than mine. And his write-up of the Finca is much more detailed and well-informed than mine could ever be, so I have taken the trouble to translate the story for you. With thanks, Guillaume. My last words on Guatemala, are his:

“I will tell you the history of the community of Nueva Alianza which is a true history of courage and tenacity. It starts with a man who owned the farm, known as el patron. Upon his death, he left the farm to his five sons, one of whom was named chief administrator. Partially corrupt and partially a bad businessman, the son was slow in paying his employees their wages (this was during the 90s.) It got to the point where eventually, he owed his employees in arrears of a million quetzals, or the equivalent of a year-and-a-half’s worth of wages.

Disillusioned, the “campésinos” left the farm on which many of them had been living for generations. In the meantime, the landlord went bankrupt. The former employees hear of this and the idea to take control of the farm starts to germinate. They ask for the support of the large trade unions of Guatemala and—to make a long story short—succeed in returning to their land. Despite receiving death threats from the former landlord, the workers of the community decide it is important to remain there at all costs.

A little later they acquire a loan from “Fundo de tierra” (an organization which facilitates access to the land by providing a loan that no one else would likely have given to a group of poor peasant farmers) and they take over the debt of 1,9 million quetzals from the former owner. However, the ground is dilapidated and not easily cultivable. This brings us to 2002. Over the course of this year, the community scrapes by by eating the plants which grow on the farm.

Today, 2007, we see first-hand a community of a little more than 200 inhabitants which has built a school, purifies its own water (which it sells to almost everywhere in western Guatemala), has an experimental biodiesel project and produces biogas with cow manure. It is also a community which cultivates macadamia nuts and coffee in organic and natural ways and which is about to become Fair Trade. WOW!!! And all that in less than five years. People here are quite simply incredible. Incredible for their heart and their broadmindedness. Here is a true example of change…”

And if I may add, men with little to no education, illiterate, but with the intelligence and the will to seek a better future for themselves and their children. And this, my friends, was what I did with my summer. I must never forget.

For those of you fellow French speakers, check out the rest of Guillaume’s blog if you're interested. He’s also got some cool photos:
http://www.zoomcoop.blogspot.com/

"You Mess With My Phosporous!"

One last entry before I leave my Guatemala experiences behind. I feel like I have hardly done this trip justice. Had I been near a computer or had Internet access been more readily available, I would have been so much more detailed and consistent in chronicling my experiences. I am upset about this, more for my own self, than for yours. Little notes I jotted down in my journal just aren’t the same. Details are already fading away and it’s only been a week. And it’s funny what kind of stories come out depending on who I’m talking to. Everyone wants to hear about a different aspect of the adventure. Some want to know about all the crazy insects and spiders I encountered on my time in the jungle (and much to my surprise, I am able to go on about this for at least 10, 15 minutes.) Others want to hear about the Spanish, or about the coffee, or about the macadamias, or about the people or about how a community of 250 people can live in the middle of nowhere without fridges! No fridges, for goodness sakes! In 2007! That means no dairy, no fresh fruit, no ice cream. Nothing kept for longer than a few days before it spoils. (I should say that the Finca has received some government funding for housing. They will also soon be hooked up onto the electricity grid, which will revolutionize their entire lives!) I tell some people about the funny/stupid things that happen. Others still about the plight of the coffee bean. I could never properly do it justice here on the wee lines of this blog. But here’s my best kick at the can.

First of all, for those of you who donated to my trip, I want you to know that your money went to a good place. The group spent $400 on school supplies and books for the Finca. Now while this may not sound like a lot, the books that we brought now account for a 1/3 of their library, which only contained a hundred books before we arrived. Also, the $150 which we spent on school supplies will be used next year to help defray the cost of school for the children. At the beginning of every school year, the Finca purchases all the supplies it will need for the whole year and divides the price between its members. At most, it likely costs each family about $10 per child per year. Some cannot afford even this, and therefore don't send their children to school! Because of your donations, our school supplies will help defray next year's costs so drastically than many more students will be able to attend school next year that otherwise wouldn't have been able to! So thanks!

OTHER THINGS I DON'T WANT TO FORGET:

*One of the more, shall we say, “authentic” meals at the Finca included a plant called ishpalula, which tastes as disgusting as it sounds. This Spinach-resembling plant tastes like dirt. Yes folks. It actually tasted like dirt. You know how beets have that ‘earthly’ flavour to them? Well, ishpalula goes right on beyond that. And there was just no getting around it. Oh, you can try and mix it up in your spaghetti and hide it in with your tortilla all you want, but it still tastes like dirt. Tortillas, spaghetti, with a side of dirt. That’s actually what we had for dinner one night. Also, ishpalula is a plant that can be used to make women lactate if they are having difficulties breastfeeding. Hard to complain since the volunteer coordinator had been stressing the importance with the cooks to make sure they served more greens for the gringos…

*It was hard to see the poor nutrition in some of the children of the Finca. There were actually a few kids with distended bellies. They eat a diet predominately of starch. This is particularly (and you’ll pardon the pun) difficult to stomach when there is fresh fruit rotting on the trees. Avocados, mangoes, papayas were everywhere, relatively untouched. It’s all a question of education, made all the more frustrating by the fact that no one from outside of the community can go in and start telling them how to eat properly.

*Another word I enjoy saying: chichicasta. There is a plant called chichicasta (say it ten times quick!) which is basically poison ivy and makes you itch for about 10 minutes. And actually, they use it for people suffering from arthritis to dull the pain. Also, they have a plant on the Finca which if you eat it will cause abortions! I didn’t write down the name, but man! I wish I had. Abortion plant. Huh. And who was the unlucky sod who discovered THAT out?!

*I figured out a few days into my trip how to take videos with my camera. It made me chuckle for the rest of the week. We were at a nightclub listening to this INCREDIBLE salsa music and I was sat there thinking, “If only there was some way I could capture this all with motion and sound…”

Some quotes of the day I jotted down:

PURSUANT TO A FIRE ANT INVASION IN THE GIRLS’ DORM ROOM:
-“Would you guys mind eating a bit earlier tonight so that the cook can clean up the poison in your room? She doesn’t want to do it before dinner on the chance that she might contaminate your food.”
-“Uh, yeah, Nick. That would be fine. Great idea.”

-“Hey you guys, I’m going to see if there are still any fire ants left on my shoes.”

-“Hey, Erin had a great idea: Put my shoes IN the poison to get rid of them.”

FROM AN OLD GUY AT THE MARKET WHOSE MATCHES WE ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKED OVER WITH OUR BACKPACKS:

‘You mess with my phosphorous!”

ha!
Well folks, I think that's it. Beautiful Belize Beckons.

Just a Quick Observation

Two Weeks in Guatemala: Didn't see ONE pregnant person. You can't throw a rock in this town without hitting someone "in the family way" square in the belly. I think we could all maybe tear a page from the book of Guatemala. Worried about moribund birth rates? Declining World Population? No problem. Come on down to Calgary, where all is fine and fertile.

But maybe that's just me...

Spilling The Beans

Here is what I have learned about Fair Trade Coffee while I was in Guatemala:
It would appear that Fair Trade is a bit of a sham. It is not the Knight in Shining Armour which has been portrayed to us java guzzlers here in the industrialized world. Basically, in order to be Fair Trade Certified, any coffee producers must pay 2000 Euros to purchase a coffee license. All products carrying the Fairtrade mark must meet certain standards set by the international body, Fairtrade Labelling Organisations International (FLO.) This is obviously a pretty good thing since standards are needed in order to ensure quality control and avoid abuse and corruption within the system. However, with poor communities such as Nueva Alianza, paying 2000 Euros PER YEAR to be part of the FLO is a little beyond their means, considering that the average Guatemalan coffee picker earns less than $1,000 US per year. Also, being Fair Trade means that the fair price they receive for their beans will be given to the producers (ie: the community) rather than equate into higher wages for the coffee pickers themselves. The fair price they receive for selling their beans is unlikely to actually cover the annual expense the Finca pays for their Fair Trade Licence. It’s a bit of a vicious circle. Coffee pickers at the Finca receive 25 Quetzales per 100 pounds of coffee cherries picked. (The cherries are what they call the ripened bean before it has been harvested.) That is about $3.40 per 100 pound bag. The problem is that the coffee market is very unstable and fluctuates considerably. It is a wonder that coffee producers make any money at all. The coffee bean is very painstaking to process. It has 5 shells and takes a great deal of time and man power to get to the core or the bean, which is the part we actually drink. A 100 lb bag of cherries will actually only yield about 20-30 lbs of coffee bean, a close to 70% loss once refined.

All that being said, you should still buy Fair Trade Coffee, basically because your dollars have a voice and it is important for us to build consumer demand for Fair Trade products, and that includes everything from coffee to cotton to chocolate and bananas. At the moment, buying FT may not equate to increased wages for the coffee pickers themselves, but the producers will benefit and in Nueva Alianza’s case, that means that the money will go back into the community and benefit the them at large. And also, eventually maybe it will equate into higher wages for the pickers.

Another thing I learned was that Starbucks is not the Antichrist. We saw where they make the Antigua Guatemala blend for Starbucks and the truth is, they are givin’ people jobs, they are supporting the local economy and they are offering comparable wages. I’m not saying you shouldn’t support your local independent coffee guys; I’m not saying that Starbucks couldn’t be doing more, I’m just sayin’ that I am going to stop feeling guilty about those White Chocolate Mochas I drink on Saturday mornings.

What I DID learn was that you should definitely stay away from Nabob coffee. They are terrible and everything you've heard about exploiting their recources and their workers is true. And I would venture a guess to say that Folger’s is the same. If you are buyin Kicking Horse coffee, keep doin’ it. That’s a great Canadaian company doin’ good things.

If you would REALLY like to learn and/or do more, you can find out about buying Fair Trade coffee from this little place in Guatemala called Café Conciencia (Coffee with a Conscience.) A full 100% of proceeds from coffee sales go directly back to the worker-owned communities that grow, process, roast and package it. That way, the communities are earning over five times as much per pound of coffee as they would on the conventional market, and over three times as much as in the mainstream Fair Trade market. This is a real grassroots organization and also, the prices kick some serious ass. One pound of coffee costs $10 US and that INCLUDES shipping and handling.
http://www.cafeconciencia.org/

Also, some of you have expressed an interest in finding out more about the community we worked in, so go here. they have a really awesome website:
http://www.comunidadnuevaalianza.org/index.htm

Bottoms up.

Thank God for Calamine

I have big blotchy patches of pink lotion on my legs. They are soothing the insect bites and large, gaping hiking/tripping wounds which have overtaken my once-beautiful legs. I’ve had a good night’s sleep, downloaded all my pictures, recharged all my batteries and am currently sipping on the most delicious cuba libre, my new-found drinking amore. Made with a $5.00 bottle of Guatemalan rum purchased at the duty free, lots of ice, and a couple of key limes, I believe it to be perfection. Ernest Hemingway would have been proud. Ah yes, it’s great to be home.

So I have been a little out of sorts since my return. A lot of information to process. Not sure what to do with it all, not ready yet to gear up for my trip next week to Belize. Vacillating about going to the gym, dozing on the couch, running some errands, doing nothing at all.

Guatemala was probably the toughest trip I’ve ever done. It was hard-core travelling. I’m thinking it might not be so much my thing, this eco-tourism business. And yet when I look back on my photos, I can’t help but marvel at the lucky and unique experience I have just had. It was satisfying to have contributed a little something to the Finca Community other than my tourist dollars and there's a lot to be said for a little Sweat Equity. But in the end, I am exhausted and feeling more run down than when I left.

But a little resume of my highs and lows for you, my dear readers:

Best use of money: The 20 Quetzales (about $2.50) I spent to pay the kitchen lady to do my laundry! It may have been unethical and encouraged a caste system in the most shameful and abhorrent way, but man! WORTH EVERY PENNY!

Worst use of money: The 90 Quetzales ($12.00) I spent making a three-minute call to my sister to make sure she was coming to pick me up.

Best memory: Hiking volcano Pacaya, seeing the Buena Vista Social Club for .75 cents and leaving the Finca by pushing a ’53 Toyota Land Cruiser down the hill and then hopping in the bed of the truck.

Worst: Last Monday night’s meal of plantains and beans (which I really can’t stomach) after a particularly bad food day; Finding out the truth about Fair Trade Coffee. Fire ants. Nasty, little buggers.

Sorry I: didn't break in my new hikers before leaving for the trip.

Glad I : improved my Spanish, went for a tuk-tuk ride, tackled the swing over the jungle, made new friends, tried new things and lived outside of my comfort zone on a pretty regular basis.

Appreciating the: hot showers, washer, dryer, dishwasher, comfy, comfy bed.

I just spent two hours writing captions for my photos and then accidentally pressed 'Delete Album' when i meant to press "Delete Photo." Too many Cuba Libres, I guess... Ah well, there's always tomorrow.

Run Through the Jungle

We are in San Pedro now after our week at the Finca. And if i wanted to spend my vacation trundling through the jungle with a machete and a hoe, I got my wish!!!! We had a truly unforgettable and formative experience at the Finca. We spent Monday and Tuesday building a new trail. We cleared a path, used machetes to cut wood stakes, hauled bamboo and made stairs!

Wednesday and Thursday were spent picking macadamia nuts and the next time you balk at the cost of macadamia nuts, let me tell you, THEY ARE WORTH EVERY PENNY. Our group of eleven spent 3 hours and picked 203 pounds of macadamia nuts, for which we would have been paid 50 Quetzales. That is the equivalent of roughly about $8. The second day we picked about 175 pounds. Divide that amogst the 11 of us and for 6 or 7 hours of work and I made, what, approximately $1.50? Unlike coffee, the macadamia trees provide nuts year-round, so picking is the livelihood of most everyone on the finca. Families will go out around 7 am and work until noon. Once the nut is picked, they are seperated into different quality categories. The very best are used to make nuts and and the others are used as fertilizer.

It was very interesting to see a sustainable development project. We got a tour of the entire finca, which included all of their revenue projects including bio-deisel, bottled water, coffee and hydroelectricity. It was very primitive but also quite ingenious. We also spent some time with kids and added a number of books to their humble library.

The week was fun. We spent a lot of time playing Headbands and Yahtzee and crib. No TV, no internet, no hot water and electricity every once in a while. Hot sun int he morning and torrential rain in the afternoon. Some great conversation and interesting and unique people. But I am glad to be back in civilization. We saw a myriad of snakes, insects, scorpions, large and freaky spiders, moths and things that probably don't even have names. No mosquitos due to the higher altitude, and therefore no worries of malaria as it turns out, but that's okay, the little black bugs that bore into your skin and made your legs look like carpaccio more than made up for that. Roosters crowing at 4 am, a gander that wouldn't shut up, a whole village-full of early-rising Guatamalens and a bed that was only marginally more comfortable than sleeping on the floor...ah, gotta love it! Capped off this morning by a scene right out of 'Little Miss Sunshine' when we all had to get out and push this old 1953 Toyota pick-up in order to get it started! Hilarious!

All in all, an unforgettable and truly unique experience.

Be home on Monday.

¡Adios Antigua!

Well, it´s our last night in civilization. Tomorrow, we hop on a bus for a 4-hour ride to the middle of nowhere. Today, we had our last morning Spanish class and spent the afternoon shopping and buying school supplies for la finca (the farm.) I think we are in for a rude awakening. We have been spoiled here in this beautiful and affluent city. Tomorrow, we will be eating beans and rice, taking cold showers and shovelling cow shit. Our other tasks at the finca include tree planting, trail maintenece and cow milking! (This is a new one. Apparently, the dairy man needs a vacation.) Something tells me that the novelty will wear off after the first cow or two... I think the finca will be interesting, for the simple fact that they are completely self-sufficient. They make their own food and electricity and have everything they need to survive off the land.

Today, we got to spend a small fortune ($150.00) on school supplies that we will be taking to the students. We also spent an additional $250 on books. I can´t wait to show up with all our things for them! I am a bit trepeditious about this part of our trip. I think it is going to be hard, but rewarding. I am hoping it will help me to have some new insight into what is really important in life. We will see.

So this will be my last post for at least a week. No computer where we are going (I don´t think.) Antigua is crazy tonight. The Guatemalan government just passed a law which forced companies and bosses to double their employees´ salaries and today was payday! I have never seen such long line ups outside the banks before. Security guards with machine guns are everywhere. The streets are teaming with people. It is going to be a party tonight, for sure! We are going out for a team dinner. It has been an interesting week: one of our team members nearly got robbed and is still shaken up about it. (She´s young and doesn´t have much life or travel experience.)Another one feinted last night because she is hypoglycemic. Others are going through life crises and discovering new things about themselves for the very first time. Me, I´m just chillin with my coffee and my Spanish classes and soaking up the ambiance.

So send your good vibes my way next week and have a warm shower and a cold drink with some non-parasitic ice for me!