Television Without Borders?

When did TV get so crappy? And bland? This has got to be the first year that I have been so incredibly and utterly bored with the ole’ boob tube…Now, I know a lot of you out there are probably saying that you made that hard discovery years ago. Nothing new here, girl. Move along. But lately, it just seems to be getting worse. And more and more tasteless. We just keep pushing the ever tacky envelope in the wrong direction. And bearing the brunt of my disgust tonight, ladies and gentleman is the station formerly known as Arts and Entertainment! Oh, A&E! What ever the hell happened to THAT station? Remember when the channel’s slogan used to be ‘Time Well Spent?!’ Hmpf. May She Rest in Peace,more like. What ever happened to sick days spent watching Law & Order re-runs and laughing at the cardboard lines of Macmillan and Wife?! Now…(*shake*, *shake*, *shake*…) now it’s a disappointing mish-mash of mediocrity! They SOLD OUT!

Which brings me to their latest horrible idea: The Sopranos. Season One…SIX YEARS after it originally aired on HBO! Who the Hell cares about Season One now?! And who would even want to watch it, now that it has been completely stripped of its foul language, violence and nudity…which really, was the only good thing about that show. Now granted, I have never been the biggest fan of the Sopranos, but I know a good show when I see it and am a purist when it comes to HBO programming. The reason shows on HBO are so good is specifically because there are no commercials, and no editing. In other words, HBO treats us like grown ups. There is no reason on earth why A&E should be running Sopranos, nor why TBS should be showing Sex & the City, for that matter. These shows aren’t meant to be run on network television. That’s what makes them so entertaining. Essentially, what the networks are doing is stripping everything about the show which makes it unique and sandwiching it in between boring shows about airlines or motorcycle shops and marathon episodes of Growing Up Gotti and calling it ‘quality television.’ Anyone who IS a Sopranos fan watched that show when it first came out on HBO 7 bajillion years ago. Anyone else, rented or bought the seasons on DVD and watched them commercial free, back-to-back. It’s too late. The only people who haven’t seen the Sopranos yet are the ones who either don’t want to, or the ones who have no business watching it in the first place, namely the youg’uns. I mean, even CTV showed them, what four years ago? Get with the times, A&E!What’s next? Are you going to start showing Season 1 of ‘V’? Oooh. Real cutting edge there...way to pander to your consumer.

Now, you must understand, I don’t actually watch that much TV anymore. But it’s January and I am tired and broke and therefore, watching more TV than usual. So when I do finally sit down, I want to make sure it’s something I like. Where the hell is ‘Queer Eye For the Straight Guy,’ for example?! Was that show too hilarious and desperately needed for straight men and women everywhere? Were there no more straight men to make over anymore? Please. One quick trip to any mall or fast food joint will answer that question in a jiffy. It has all been replaced by JUNK. So I end up spending the only 2 hours I have to sit down and relax watching American Idol, which I don’t even really like. And when is the reality wave going to finally come to an end? Beauty & the Geek? America’s Ballroom Challenge? Grease: You’re The One That I Want? Ice-T’s Rap School? C’mon! Armed & Famous?! (well, actually, that one’s pretty funny…) But seriously! Enough already! What’s next: House of Crappers? So you think you can Fart?

God Help Us All…