I Hate Getting Ripped Off!

Also in the Calgary Herald Q

There is a disturbing trend in this city when eating out, and it is this: Increased prices, poorer quality of food. I don’t mind paying more for something if it equates to a better quality product, but lately things have been getting worse in our Calgary dining establishments.

Let’s examine People’s Exhibit Number 1: The Dairy Queen. Several months ago, I went in there and noticed they had jazzed up their menu board. It was bigger, brighter, glitzier and actually, a lot more confusing. I ordered a medium Blizzard. It came to six dollars and fifty-five cents. For a Blizzard. A little bit of ice cream and some cookie dust cost me six dollars and fifty-five cents. I was appalled. I asked them if their prices had gone up. They stared at me, blankly. Maybe they had to increase their prices to pay for their fancy new sign? I didn’t go back for quite a while, partly because I refuse to pay that much for a Blizzard and partly because it’s winter time. But I’m an addict and eventually--as was bound to happen--I went back. Remembering my previous experience, I shied away from the Blizzard and ordered a Pecan Mudslide. Can’t got wrong with that, right? Except that it was half the size that it used to be. I asked them if they had made it smaller. They stared at me blankly.

Last week, we went to one of my favourite establishments, 1410. It was wing night, so we ordered twenty and it cost us $4.00. That’s a pretty good deal. When we ordered, the bartender asked us if we wanted Ranch Dressing. I said, ‘Sure.” He neglected to tell us that the Ranch was extra and would cost .99 cents. And he brought us two! So the ranch dressing, which we didn’t really order and which we hardly even ate cost us half as much as all of the wings. When we went to pay, it turns out that they have no debit machine, but we were free to use their “bank machine” for a three dollar fee. This is on top of the $1.50 my bank would charge me for not using one of their ATMs. And no, I did not just crawl out form under a rock; I know this is not a new phenomenon, but usually those machines charge a dollar-fifty, two tops…but three?! C’mon. Now you are just nickel-and-diming me. And my four dollar wings end up costing me $10.50.

So tonight, I ordered a pizza. Trying to get a pizza in this city on a Saturday night is about as easy as getting Premier Stelmach to look cool. Not only did it take an hour-and-a-half to get here, but when it did, there were hardly any toppings on it and the pepperoni was torn into quarter-sections. What, we don’t even warrant full pieces of pepperoni any more? The mushrooms were so small and the bacon so sparse that it looked as if all I had ordered was a cheese pizza.

So, I know what you’re thinking: Maybe you should eat out less. Well yes, it’s true. But really, I don’t mind paying for something if the price equals the quality. What I really hate is getting tricked into paying for something I never wanted in the first place, or overcharged for an inferior product.

So I guess from now on, I’m going to stay home and crush Kit Kat bars onto my own ice cream, buy some extra pepperoni and carry around a bottle of Ranch in my oversized purse...

Brother.