You Just Can't Make This Shit Up

THIS STORY HAS MADE MY DAY:

The Izapan were a people closely associated with the Olmec and likely passed the secrets of chocolate to the Maya. They treated cocoa as a divine product awarded to human beings from the mythical Mountain of Sustenance. (Really? The mythical Mountain of Sustenance?) In an ancient manuscript, there is a story in which one of the so-called hero twins--the children of the man and woman who created the universe--is decapitated. His head is then posted on a cocoa tree, where it manages to impregnate the ruler's daughter, who gives birth to other hero twins. These offspring subsequently save humankind from the evil denizens of the Underworld.

So the next time someone tells you that chocolate isn't good for you, you can tell them that it can help save human kind from the evil denizens of the Underworld...but to take heed, 'cause it might subsequently knock them up.

HA!