I Think I'm Ready

"We don't want to eat hot fudge sundaes as much as we want our lives to BE hot fudge sundaes."

~Geneen Roth

It has been a month since I took a business course called the Entrepreneur Bootcamp. My life has completely changed since then. Completely. I have never felt more free; I had a major breakthrough with my relationship with money and how I have always used it to get my needs met around love. I attracted 6 new clients and made $17,000 in sales, allowing me to address most of my pressing, scary, edge-of-the-cliff money and debt concerns. I got clarity and insight on how to effectively run my business and I organized a six-day retreat in the mountains to help my clients get started on their dream of becoming published authors.

I wrote an e-book and started my third book, one on dating which I have realized will be therapy for me more than help for anyone else.

I spent 3 weeks with my dad, a prince among men, learning what true giving and unconditional love is all about.

It's a beautiful thing.

Best, this past month has opened up the craggy hole in my heart and let light burst through. I have been able to let go of my death grip on money, share the wealth, help others and gladly, happily, joyfully share my love.

It's a beautiful thing.

I have been doing lots of work around my beliefs surrounding money, so I can make sure to stay in gratitude and flow. "I have plenty to spare and to share" has become my mantra of late, whereas before I was taking a more Gollum approach 'It's mine, mine, mine. There is not enough to go around.' And there never was.

All this is leading me to a place I thought I had long abandoned. I feel like I am finally ready to address and release my weight. Once and for all. I have taken a long, LONG break from it, feeling it better instead to nurture and comfort myself. I thought if I ever take another run at the weight loss game that it would be from a place of love, forgiveness and acceptance. I knew that in order for me to be successful, I would need a radical, new, different approach.

And along came this book by Geneen Roth called 'Women Food and God.' Now, as most of you know, I'm not a big fan of God. The semantics, anyway. I really prefer to call it The Universe, although I realize that whatever name you give it, it's all the same power. So I substitute God for the Universe and try and put away all of my misgivings surrounding The Big Guy.

Roth's angle is basically the following: The way you eat is inseparable from your core beliefs about being alive.

Uh-oh.

Your relationship with food is an exact mirror of your feelings about love, fear, anger, meaning, transformation and, yes, even [the Universe.]

Here is an exceprt:

"Pay attention to the way you eat. You will quickly discover if you believe the world is a hostile place and that you need to be in control of the immediate universe for things to go smoothly. You will discover if you believe there is not enough to go around and that taking more than you need is necessary for survival. You will find out if you believe that being quiet is unbearable, and that being alone means being lonely. If feeling your feelings means being destroyed. If being vulnerable is for sissies or if opening to love is a big mistake. And you will discover how you use food to express each one of these core beliefs."

I'm only on page 17, so I'll let you know how it goes. So far, I can only stomach (haha!) about 2 pages at a time. But I can tell already that she's going to help me.

I can feel the shift already.