Hm. Look What I Found

A post from Devil's Shoehorn, my other blog, on December 10, 2007:

Personal Best is likely one of the most rewarding, fascinating and enlightening experiences I have ever had in my life. I am aware how drastic that statement must sound, and you know what? I don’t give a shit. I will do my best not to sound like a crazy hippy joiner, but I’m tellin’ ya, man. This was the single greatest favour I have ever done for myself. If this is what it means to be a crazy, hippy joiner, I say bring it on, dude. Forty hours workin' on myself. Here is what I came up with:

1. I seek constant approval from others to feel self-worth.
2. Everything I do in my life has been done out of a need for attention.
3. My mom berated me so much as a child that I always felt inadequate, and still do to this day.
4. I torture and flagellate myself with anger and self-loathing.
5. I judge and criticize everything and everyone in my surroundings.
6. I take everything personally.
7. I sweat the small stuff and it is sucking the life out of me.
8. The things in my life which I am resisting the most are the things which I am actually attracting towards me. (Don’t want to turn into my mom? Well guess what? Knock. Knock.)
9. I don’t trust anybody in this world because I don’t trust or believe in myself. And THAT has been the prime, driving force in my life.
10. By trying to control everything and everyone in my life, I am avoiding my own demons.
11. Our Greatest Stories of Victimization are our Greatest Clue for our Life Mission.
12. I need a Life Mission?
13. My weight is the least interesting thing about me.
14. I am fucking hilarious.
15. My energy and courage draw others towards me.
16. I inspire people.
17. I cannot spend another single, solitary day teaching in a Junior High.
18. I need to tap into my power.
19. I will keep the promises I make to myself.
20. All truth, all of the time.
21. I will establish clear, concise and firm guidelines for men.
22. The love is the thing. It's all about the love. All you need is love. Loooooove. I Heart Love.
23. It doesn’t matter what choice you make, it matters how you make the choice.
24. I have all the tools and know all the answers to all of my questions already.
25. I am going to quit my job and become a writer.

Expect many more hugs from me in the future. I'm going to church now.
Kumbaya.

*****
Good reminder. Some of these things I have accomplished in spades. Others are still there, tapping.

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