This is going to sound really wacky and out there and even--dare I say it--a little ridiculous: I carry rocks around in my pocket.
Yep. That's what I said. Rocks. I have Serpentine and Blue Topaz; Red Tiger's Eye and Rhodochrosite; Tiger Iron and Lapis Lazuli. There is some Citrine and Rose Quartz, Cluster Quartz and Black Onyx down my pants and Bloodstone and Mookaite, too. Not all at once, of course. I pick my stones for the day depending on what I'm doing, the things I'm struggling with, or the goals I am trying to accomplish. And each one has different symbolism and different intentions. Anything from creating and allowing abundance, to redirecting energy, to helping me feel safe, establishing boundaries, loving unconditionally, accepting change and improving communication. And sometimes, if things are really bad, I put them in my bra. I know it sounds crazy, but you know what, I think an essential component to a happy life is letting a little of the crazy leak out every once in a while.
I am not necessarily convinced that they work; but I'm not convinced that they don't work, either. For the most part, I take the stance that they aren't hurting anyone, so where's the harm? There is some sort of ceremony you can do with them, involving placing them on various different chakras on the body or holding them in the palms of your hand while you meditate. I mostly just shove them in my knickers or my purse with a shrug and a chuckle of the if-my-friends-could-see-me-now variety.
This all sounds very good, doesn't it? A little wacky, yes. But mostly progressive? Yeah, well, let me just say that sometimes it pays to be careful what you wish for. The interesting part about the rocks is that I feel like I have been asking for it. I don't know what that 'it' was, but I know that it was intense.
Here's the interesting bit: I have had more heart-to-heart conversations and State-of-the-Union type talks with my friends and family in the month of December than in the previous year combined.
So in my attempts to let go and accept change and not control outcome, I have found that some crazy things are happening. Like fluid events and change and uncontrollable outcomes.
This is all for the greater good, of course. Isn't there some fabulous quote about an unexamined life being not worth living. Or something? Yep. It is healthy and denotes progress and love and...it.is.fucking.exhausting.
I'm serious. I'm exhausted.
Sometimes I think it is just easier to live on an island and be misunderstood. I am fortunate to have people in my life who understand me no matter what I say or do, but I have equally as many people who seem to misunderstand me regardless of what I say or do.* I guess that's life. I just find it interesting that the rocks, maybe, are doing exactly what they are supposed to do. It's just not what I thought. Which is the great lesson in my life in general. Nothing ever looks how I think it is going to.
For example, Blue Topaz "aids verbalization and assists in seeing the scripts you have been living by and recognize where you have strayed from your own truth." This sounds all great and oh yeah, I wanna work on that. Except that it has meant hours and HOURS of conversation. And sometimes that can feel like banging my head against a brick wall. Sometimes I just want to turn around and go back from where I came. Except that, no I don't; It's just seems easier that way.
I rather suspect that all this talking will result in strengthened relationships and easier communication. Eventually. I've no doubt. But for right now, not another word. Right now I am seriously feeling the need to jump down the rabbit hole and live in a sensory deprivation tank for a couple of days.
Oh, but wait: I had better be careful what I wish for; I have a book to start.
(*And for those of you who feel like you fall in this category, it doesn't mean that I don't love you or that I haven't enjoyed the conversations.)
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