Some of the songs on this list I would likely never admit to liking, though I cannot deny their direct impact on my life. These songs are different from all the rest because of their ability to catapult me to the past with alarming terrifying—and sometimes fond—accuracy. They take me back to the EXACT time and the EXACT place and the EXACT feeling. They are timeless and forever etched in my mind and heart because I only listened to them for a very short period of time and then never again. The last three I could never get sick of and never have gotten enough of them. The first two make me cringe with awkwardness and roll my eyes with mortification and I will not mind if I never hear them again. The songs aren't on this list necessarily because they are good; they are on this list because they are a map of some of the most painful and bittersweet moments of my life:
1. Moonlight Desires-Gowan: Ach. This song breaks my heart. With all the longing of my Grade 6, pre-teen awkwardness, want and revelation. Before I knew anything about music, let alone *good* music, this is one of the first songs I ever remember listening to in my giant yellow walk-man.
2. Kokomo-Beach Boys: Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take you. Bermuda. Bahama. Cmon pretty mama. You all know the words. This song is Grade 7 gym class. That’s what this reminds me of. It makes me cringe while simultaneously making me feel wistful. I hated gym. I hated the change room. This song smells of spray-on baby-powder deodorant and reminds me of Mrs. Curtis and her Lady Foot Locker baby-pink cotton braided head-band.
3. Little Lies-Fleetwood Mac: This is a Grade 7 dance and the bittersweet sting of rejection, and mostly in particular of Jason Reinhart. In 1987 or 88, This song makes me think of walking through a gymnasium full of red helium balloons, but is that another FM video? It’s my first experience of total confusion with men. It was my first experience of being aware that looks matter and whatever that look was, I didn't have it. It was first experience of not understanding why guys never did like me. And really, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten any closer to figuring that out.
4. Shout-Tears for Fears: Fast forward about 6 years. It's 1993. This reminds me of a trip back from Edmonton with E. We rewound the song over and over again. The tape broke immediately after I bought it/I lost it and I have never listened to it since. No better song. No better time. And this song will forever be associated with THAT ONE DAY. That moment. I never cared that it was kind of repetitive. It was the finest 6 minutes on tape as far as I was concerned.
5. Hey Man, Nice Shot-Filter: This is a filthy house in Edmonton. Ryan, Grant and Vince. It is feeding all four of us for $17.00 a week. I have yet to encounter a guitar riff I enjoy more or a song which makes my head bob more quickly. This song is ripped-in-the-knee jeans and a false sense of independence with a hefty dose of unnecessary stubborn pride.
I thought about embedding the videos but meh. Too much work.
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