Interesting because I haven't been the slightest bit interested in drinking, not even tempted. Tis the Season for birthday parties and BBQs and decks in the sunshine. Not tempted by Cosmos at the Sex and the City premier, not tempted at my weekly writer's club which really - has just been a good excuse to drink on a Wednesday night. Huh! What has been surprising is that a whole lot of crazy emotions have been coming up. Mostly loneliness. And it's interesting to realize what a salve the alcohol has been. A mask, really. A way to not deal with whatever's going on. Which of course is no news flash. It's hardly breaking news; I just didn't realize to what extent I used it to distance myself from my feelings.
Another great thing - I have been having just as much fun sober. And more importantly, I'm just as funny.
Other perks:
-no more pesky hangovers. Entire days are no longer maligned by dehydration and lack of anti-inflammatories in the house.
-more money in the wallet
-I can leave a party whenever I want and drive home without worry
Hm.
And really what I've realized is that what needed the most detoxifying was the unhealthy relationship. Not being attached to having to have the alcohol? And not even realizing that there was an attachment in the first place? Double huh!
One thing is for sure - a higher version of myself has been tryin to emerge these past few month, nay years. And as long as I'm drinking, it's a way of stifling down the creativity.
Don't know where this is going - or for how long- but all I have to say is a big, fat, giant HUH! I am tickled that, at 35, I can continue to surprise myself.
It feels good.
Who knows what's next - maybe a colon cleanse?
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